The home building community was shocked today when Big Bad Wolf Enterprises™ filed suit against the Three Little Pigs™ for damages, emotional distress and injuries sustained by the CEO himself, Wolf.
For over a decade, the Three Little Pigs™ have built custom homes for a growing population of celebrities, pseudo-celebrities and reality stars. Although the business was created by the three pig brothers, they sold it nine years ago amidst a bitter feud with the straw and lumber unions. After the sale, the business became so successful that only two years ago, they plumped it up by providing innovative remodels to existing mansions. Their star clients have included Snow White’s Father-in-Law, Beast’s cousin (twice-removed) and the Frog Prince. Rumors have also linked the Three Little Pigs™ to plans for the long-awaited multi-million dollar duplex of Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee.
However, a rival home builder – Big Bad Wolf Enterprises™ – recently called into question the quality of materials used by the Three Little Pigs™. In a public statement last year, the Wolf of Big Bad Wolf Enterprises™ said, “Those houses are so shoddy, I bet I could blow them down!”
The Wolf’s comments sparked a feud between the two companies. They attacked each other in the press and through social media. Finally – just last week – the Wolf entered a Three Little Pigs™ construction area, huffing and puffing his way through the building site. Witnesses report that the Wolf failed to heed any warning signs and was not wearing a hardhat. When the straw and wood frames collapsed around the Wolf, emergency responders were forced to use the jaws of life to rescue him.
Big Bad Wolf Enterprises™ refused to comment on the extent of Wolf’s injuries. Instead, the company used the accident as grounds to sue the Three Little Pigs™ in court.
When pressed for comment, a spokesperson for the Three Little Pigs™ said, “How dare he! That Wolf destroyed all my clients’ hard work for nothing. For him to ask for reparations is a travesty of justice!” We have been assured that a counter-suit is forthcoming.