Looks like the Grimm Report has been nominated for an award… Well, alright! In lieu of having anything late-breaking to report, it brings us great joy to accept the nomination for the SUPER SWEET BLOGGING AWARD. Continue reading
Sugar Plum Fairy Prunes Hedges and Leaves
17 Jun
Great Garden Gumdrops!
LAND OF THE SWEETS–The Sugar Plum Fairy withered in warm weather while trimming topiaries too tall to tolerate. Whether weather is warm, windy, or wet while weeks wear on, she swears shearing shrubs in Sunday’s sunshine should shave seconds, sorry, hours of overtime ousting overgrowth over time.
The Old Woman Who Lives In A Shoe To Divest Sole Ownership
14 Jun
Portrait of the home and the owner.
The old woman who lives in the shoe is looking to downsize. She intends cobble together the money from the sale of the property, along with what she has in savings, and put her feet up. Continue reading
Owl And Pussycat Wed in Vegas
12 Jun
The Owl and the Pussycat eloped last weekend at a Las Vegas casino resort.
The time had come for the deed to be done, as life for the two is too short. Continue reading
Tom Thumb Develops Blister
11 Jun
I choose you, thumb-is-sore!
Tom Thumb has developed a serious form of repetitive strain injury, more commonly known as Gamer’s Grip. Symptoms of the injury include severe blistering and swelling of the thumbs. After enduring an eighteen-hour, nostalgia-infused round of the video game, Pokémon, Mr. Thumb relented. “I couldn’t help myself. I had to catch them all!”
Tarzan’s Stint As Stylist Not A Swinging Success
10 JunBALTIMORE, MD–Tarzan was let go after his first day on the job at a local area Supercuts. His firing follows several complaints including unsuitable attire, loud outbursts, and inappropriate touching. “Tarzan made people feel uncomfortable,” explained salon manager, Bill Clayton. “For starters, couldn’t keep his shirt on. I don’t mean he was impatient. He stripped down to his loin cloth. Try getting your bangs done with that staring you in the face.” Continue reading
A Hard Boiled Life
6 JunEDITORIAL NOTE: We apologize if some of you have read this post before. The IT department accidentally deleted it from the server a few months back. It’s killing our editorial staff for sentimental reason. It was our very first. We felt that it needed to be back on the blog, but cannot figure out how to do so discretely. So, if you have not read the article before, enjoy. If you have, feel free to read it again. Thank you. –GR
BEIJING, CHINA–Today the world mourned the loss of former child star and daredevil icon, Humpty Dumpty. He passed away while performing the highly publicized stunt spectacular, Eggs Over China. Doctors report Dumpty suffered severe head trauma when he hurled himself from the top of The Great Wall. Known for his risky behavior, Dumpty opted to forgo the parachute that was typically secured to his safety harness in an effort to top the intensity of previous jumps. “I can’t believe he’s gone,” said one witness. “One moment we were all cheering him on, and the next… egg drop soup.”
Mind If We Freshen Up?
5 JunWe at The Grimm Report are endeavoring to find a new look for ourselves. Our previous and current configurations are decidedly not “it.” You’ll pardon us as we try on a few items over the next couple of days. We hope to be looking as fashionable as ever, soon. I’m sure you, our stylistically savvy readership, will know “it” when you see “it.” Thank you so much for your patience and understanding.
Mysterious Eighth Dwarf Discovered
5 JunCHARLESTON, WV– The seven Dwarfs have been reunited with their long lost sibling today. The Dwarfs were separated from each other after their parents had sent the eighth Dwarf to the Ohio Hi-Ho Preparatory Academy on a Junior Miner’s scholarship. By earning straight A’s, and unearthing an enormous lump of gold, the eighth Dwarf then moved on to Harvard Medical School. From there, communication with the family broke down as the eighth Dwarf’s studies consumed all of her attention. Continue reading
Sprats Differ On Diet
3 JunCLEVELAND, OH–Jack Sprat is “in the dog house” this morning after arguing with wife, Rosie. The married couple of nine years spent the evening fighting over this week’s grocery list. Jack Sprat, a recent convert to the Dukan Diet (also known as the “Princess Diet”), can eat no fat. His wife, owner of the labor intensive Rosie’s Riveting Renovations, can eat no lean. Continue reading
